6 Burning Questions for the 'American Horror Story: Coven' Season Finale

It has been a long, meandering season for “American Horror Story: Coven.” Some subplots felt rushed, church lady Joan’s dark secret, others felt gratuitous, Kyle lingering in the background, while others, like the witch hunters, slammed shut too quickly. With the finale approaching, the identity of the new supreme is the big story. But there are some other lingering questions.

Will Fiona return?
Was it really that easy to get rid of Fiona? We didn’t see her body, and this show has a tradition of raising the dead. Besides, it is hard to believe the Axeman managed to blindside her with only a calico cat story as a distraction.

Is Cordelia pregnant?
It is a stretch, but that never stopped this show before!

Will Queenie finally deliver?
Early in the season, Queenie was a highlight of the show. Her subplot about being an outcast among outcasts added a welcome break from the Madison-Zoe rivalry. Unfortunately, Gabourey Sidibe’s dialogue was not very convincing during some of her bigger scenes. When she was telling someone off, it sounded more like reading than a read. Her voice grew very shrill and she rattled off insults as though she was going through a checklist. (This also happens on “The Big C.”) Will Queenie turn it around in the finale?

Is Myrtle up to something?
Okay, so Myrtle’s a little loopy with her theremin. But it almost seems as though she is too out of touch with reality. How did she go from being so suspicious of Fiona and concerned about the coven to obsessing about gardening and frivolous details such as Fiona’s portrait? Is Myrtle quietly working on a secret plan?

Does the power of resurrection come at a price?
Lore hints that her power of resurrection should come at a price—the life of another. “American Horror Story: Coven” seemed to be playing a different, undefined set of rules until the penultimate episode revealed details about The Seven Wonders, clearly explaining vitalium vitalis as “the balancing of scales between one life force and another."

Doesn’t that mean the witch who resurrects someone loses at least some of her own life force? If so, nearly everyone in the coven is in trouble. If not, the show needs to clarify the rules.

What about dropped characters?
What happened to the baby Laveau stole for Papa Legba? Is the ghostly Spalding still using it as his “living doll”? Someone, maybe Myrtle or Cordelia, had a Spynx cat earlier this season. What happened to that cat? Was it really just a cat?

The finale of “American Horror Story: Coven” airs January 29 on FX.

'King of the Nerds' Has New Digs, Games, and Rules for Season 2

Did you watch Season 1 of "King of the Nerds" on TBS? Initially, I was concerned the show would have a bunch of faux nerds straight out of central casting. Instead, it had a genuine assortment of players ranging from geeky game lovers to mathletes. Although some of the contestants were super annoying, the show included a good mix of personalities and different incarnations of nerdiness. By the final episode, the show seemed to forget its nerdly roots and relied on a popular vote from the castaways a la "Survivor" to choose a winner.  

"King of the Nerds" Season 2 Preview
Season 2 promises to be bigger and better! Hosts Robert Carradine and Curtis Armstrong acknowledge the backlash against using a popularity contest to crown the King of Nerds. This season will feature a new Nerdvana, new team colors, and new games in addition to some classics.

Season 1 runner-up Genevieve Pearson teases the Harry Potter- inspired Nerdditch game.


When vocal viewers complained the cast didn't represent their ideal nerd, the show added a competition for the People's Nerd, a contestant chosen by online voters. Pokemon enthusiast Josh Wittenkeller won.

Kevin Sorbo ("Hercules"), Mayim Bialik ("The Big Bang Theory"), Bill Nye the Science Guy, and Jon Heder ("Napolean Dynamite") will join returning guest judges George Takei and Yaya Han.

Watch "King of the Nerds" on TBS.

‘Murder, She Wrote’ Reboot Axed, 5 Other Mystery Shows to Watch Instead

Shady Angela Lansbury? Photo: Wikimedia

Remember that whole “Murder, She Wrote” reboot project with Octavia Spencer, who won an Oscar for “The Help”? According to Deadline, the NBC series was supposed to keep the original title and feature Spencer as a hospital administrator, amateur detective, and self-published mystery author. Although Dame Angela Lansbury praised Spencer, the one and only Jessica Fletcher was "terribly pleased and relieved" the recycling effort won't go forward.

Did Lansbury Kill the Reboot?
In a November 2013 interview with the AP, Lansbury expressed her disapproval of the project.

"I think it's a mistake to call it 'Murder, She Wrote because 'Murder, She Wrote' will always be about a Cabot Cove and this wonderful little group of people who told those lovely stories and enjoyed a piece of that place, and also enjoyed Jessica Fletcher, who is a rare and very individual kind of person ..."

There wasn’t a big window of opportunity for this new show to entice viewers since reboots already carry a bad reputation (“Knight Rider” and “Ironside”), and Lansbury previously expressed interest in reprising her role as the mystery maven. Then there was the question of painting a relatively youthful Spencer as the innocuous investigator who flies under the radar. These characters are usually older like Tom Bosley in “Father Dowling Mysteries,” disarming like Andy Griffith as the country lawyer in “Matlock,” or seemingly inept and non-threatening like Tony Shalhoub in “Monk.”

Until Lansbury lands a “Murder, She Wrote” reboot or TV movie of her own, mystery fans can enjoy a variety of light-hearted whodunnit shows.

Diagnosis Murder cast

“Diagnosis Murder”
As Dr. Mark Sloan, Dick Van Dyke worked as a doctor and police consultant. His son, played by his real-life progeny, Barry Van Dyke, happened to be a detective on the police force. The overlap lured Dr. Sloan into a variety of cases that required his medical skills, subtle snooping, and disarmingly grey coif. A team of younger doctors, including Scott Baio, rounded out the team. “Diagnosis Murder” currently airs on HMC, Hallmark Movie Channel.

Bonus: Matlock appears on a special two-part episode and reveals the reasoning behind some of his peculiarities.

“Monk”
Emmy-winning Tony Shalhoub does an amazing job of incorporating a variety of believable OCD tendencies into Adrian Monk, the defective detective. Monk was once a legend on the San Francisco Police Department, able to use obscure clues to solve the trickiest cases. Following his wife's murder, his OCD spiraled out of control and he was booted from the force. His long list of obsessions and phobias make it difficult to navigate the world, but his trusty assistant (Sharona and, later, Natalie) helps him. Monk works as a private detective while also trying solve his wife's murder and prove he is fit to rejoin the force.
 
It sounds rather dark, but the show combines comedy and drama as he tries to solve complicated cases while still taking time to indulge his tiresome quirks. There is a distinct Sherlock Holmes vibe as Monk annoys his cohorts and uses the tiniest of details to crack the case. Catch marathons of the show on ION or CLOO.

“New Tricks”
When Detective Superintendent Sandra Pullman gets downgraded to unsolved crimes, she lures three old fogey police officers out of retirement to form a team that investigates cold cases. They have to adapt their hard-nosed tactics to navigate a world of social media and strict conduct rules. Ultimately, their years of experience and unique knowledge make them very successful on this UK series. Check to see if your local PBS affiliate airs "New Tricks."

"Psych"
After Shawn Spencer's (James Roday) police officer father, Henry, groomed him to become an ace detective, Shawn opted to use his powers of observation to become a (fake!) psychic. For fun, he calls in tips to the police department, ultimately leading them to suspect him of a crime. Eventually, Shawn works alongside the Santa Barbara Police Department after convincing the chief that his powers are real.

The show, which is currently in its eighth season, has a signature tone and rapid fire jokes that appeal to different sensibilities. Watch USA for the most current episodes, or revel in the reruns on ION.

"Matlock"
Andy Griffith brings his usual charm to the small screen as Ben Matlock, a Harvard-educated country boy who became a high-priced lawyer. He may wear outdated, off-the-rack suits and chow down on hot dogs, but he's well worth the $100,000 retainer he charges. Although he usually finds himself dealing with scandalous cases (affairs, prostitutes, etc.), the show itself is rather tame. If you happen to notice a deleted word on INSP, it was probably one of the rare times Ben said "hell." Watch for "Matlock" weeknights on INSP and weekends on WGN.

New to 'Girls'? Get Ready to Deal with Hannah's Wardrobe, Mental Meltdowns, and Nudity

Not being a regular HBO subscriber, or in possession of a borrowed password, I first encountered “Girls” as a marathon of Season 2 during a free promo weekend. I was already aware of the utterly cruel criticism of Lena Dunham’s physical appearance and the fact that some viewers grew weary of the characters by its sophomore season. Still, I wasn’t ready for the show I was about to experience.

Although I don't agree with it, I somewhat understand all the public criticism for Dunham's body. Name a show "Girls," air it on a premium cable network at night, and people like Howard Stern may have certain expectations. The thing is, Dunham's character, Hannah, has this haunting ability to sear her experiences into the viewer's brain. In particular, her wardrobe, mental meltdowns, and nudity bring the world of "Girls" to life.  

1. Hannah Dresses Like a Toddler
It’s refreshing that Hannah isn’t pouring herself into a scuba suit of shapewear to fit some supposed standard of beauty. I can embrace her comfy shoes, warm tights, unflattering skirts, and endless supply of sleeveless tops. But I draw the line at her playsuit. In case your self-preservation instincts filtered that image from your brain, here’s a refresher from the episode featuring her depressing encounter with Doctor Joshua.

via thoughtshewasjamesdeanforaday

Where did that outfit come from? Did she make it in her middle school sewing class? Is it from the wardrobe for an abandoned sequel to “Honey, I Blew Up the Kid”? The problem isn’t that it’s unflattering or unstylish—that’s the norm for her—it’s that the distractingly hideous and impractical outfit took up so much screen time. The uncomfortable fit nearly gave me a sympathetic wedgie. Did she have to unbutton that top and untie the knot every time she needed to visit the loo? No wonder she’s struggling with “daggery” urine from UTIs.

via unemployedonpurpose

2. Hannah Makes You Feel Her Misery in the Most Unsympathetic Way
Some characters are so out of sync with the norm, we know they will regularly endure some form of humiliation, disaster, or ridicule. “Freaks and Geeks” was built on this theme. Even when it felt as though the characters seemed to deserve that embarrassment, there was always at least some vague sense of compassion or camaraderie as they braved situations that boiled down to universal life lessons and experiences.

“Girls” creates painfully palpable experiences that ultimately have no power because the characters don’t elicit my sympathy. Watching Hannah struggle with a writing deadline and awkwardly try to scoot across the hardwood floor while her bare thighs kept her anchored in place was mesmerizing. Certain that something was about to happen, I stared at the screen. Then she got a gnarly splinter in her rump. Ouch! But not really, because I didn’t care anymore. It quickly devolved into another Earth-shattering saga in the frustrating world of “Girls.”

At this point, she’s sort of like a “Seinfeld” character. Yep, she’s the new George Costanza--some weird amalgamation of selfish, uncaring behavior coupled with an intense sense of ego and neediness. But the gang of friends on “Seinfeld” kept it funny while “Girls” wallows in misery like an old Alanis Morissette song. How am I supposed to laugh at that?

via noahhateseverything

3. Hannah’s Nudity Draws You into Her World
So, why does Dunham have so much naked time? It breaks the barrier between the viewers and the character as she candidly exposes both her body and emotions. At times, it almost conveys the awkwardness that sums up Hannah’s entire life experience. But, as Laird declared in the Season 2 finale, there’s something rotten about her insides. Well, maybe not rotten. It would probably be more interesting if she was dark and twisty. Instead, she’s so simple and shallow that I’m growing weary of looking.

Season 3 of "Girls" premieres on HBO tonight.